Crypto Avengers Assemble: what’s Trump planning

🦸 Crypto Avengers Assemble: what’s Trump planning?

Plus: Coffeezilla enters the HAWK token chaos

GM. The Daily Squeeze: where blockchain gets diced, sliced, and blended into a fruit salad of crypto chaos.

👑 Donald Trump nominates David O. Sacks to be “White House AI & Crypto Czar.”

🤠 Hawk Tuah girl’s rug pull drama is unfolding.

🍋 News drops: STEPN x Adidas are dropping physical sneakers for NFT holders, Pump.fun gets banned in the UK + more

🍍 Market flavor today

The Fear and Greed Index dipped to 72 today, so we’ve moved from “AAAA LFG TO THE MOON” to a more chill “yup, still hyped.” That $100K moment was pretty much like a teen going through puberty – Bitcoin insists it wasn’t just a phase (spoiler alert: it was, sort of – it spent most of the day within the $95K – 100K range).

Jamie Coutts from Real Vision gave us a quick reality check: these all-time highs have been reached “in the face of a deteriorating liquidity backdrop.” If things get worse, the rally could be short-lived. But if they ease up, BTC’s gonna shoot up again after a pullback.

TL;DR: Short-term looks chaotic; long-term is still very bullish.

Analysts over at Bernstein also see a positive bigger picture. Their prediction? Bitcoin’s gonna replace gold as the main “store of value” over the next decade. Talk to me.

Long story short, for now, BTC’s grounded – but you know it’s staring out the window and plotting something big. Your job? Stay alert so you can catch it in the act 🕵️

🥝 Memecoin harvest

Who’s riding the hype train today? 🚂

Why? Roaring Kitty posted a weird subliminal message on X, and the community did what it had to do.

Coinbase listed the memecoin – and so the party started.

The token blew up in October when someone sent $40K worth of it to Terminal of Truths – an AI shitposter bot on X.

Another AI Agent token.

🦸 The Crypto Avengers

Donald Trump is out here collecting pro-crypto people in his team like they’re Infinity Stones. And the lineup’s looking pretty fire so far, tbh:

VP: JD Vance – BTC holder;
SEC Chair: Paul Atkins – more about him here;
Treasury Secretary: Scott Bessent – hedge fund manager, crypto = freedom advocate;
Secretary of Commerce: Howard Lutnick – crypto bull, has that “BTC is gold 2.0 and should be tradable everywhere” vibe to him;
Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE): Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy – no further comments here… the name speaks for itself.

And I need DJ Khaled to pull up now, ’cause we’ve got ANOTHER ONE 🥰

Trump announced Solana bull David O. Sacks as his pick for “White House AI & Crypto Czar.” First of all, wtf is that? Second of all, I’m listenin’.

Trump says this role is about making sure the US stays competitive in AI and crypto, two areas he calls critical for the future. Here’s what Sacks will be up to:

Protecting free speech online;
Steering the US away from Big Tech bias and censorship;
Helping build a CLEAR legal framework for crypto (our prayers have been answered, finally).

All considered, I’m not saying this is bullish, but… yeah, it’s totally bullish 🚀

🤪 Pull a rug on that thang

Every once in a while, random people say the dumbest sh*t, go viral, and then suddenly – they’re a meme-turned-celebrity.

A few years ago, we had the Cash Me Ousside girl. She took her second of fame and turned it into a rap career. And not even the noname SoundCloud one – she’s got features with big names in the industry + hundreds of millions of views.

And now, there’s the Hawk Tuah girl. If you’re a doom-scrolling enjoyer (✋😃🤚 guilty!), you’ve definitely seen her (and, at this point, you most likely wanna throw up when you hear that catchphrase).

Her real name’s Haliey Welch, and she’s also cashed in on her viral moment – her podcast called Talk Tuah is now #5 globally.

Could’ve been a good success story… but she decided to get into memecoins. The HAWK token launched.

This token did pop off very quickly, reaching a market cap of $500M. But then, guess what? 🤠 She rugged, and it dipped to $25M 🤠 What a surprise 🤠

Turns out, 95% of the supply was held by one insider cluster, but, obviously, Welch and her team swore they hadn’t sold a single token.

Naturally, crypto whistleblower Coffeezilla had to get involved – he joined an X Space with the HAWK gang to call them out on all the, you know, dumping on fans. Their response? Take a chill pill, bro.

… A WHAT NOW?

So, what’s next? Law firms wanna sue Welch. And for the rest of us? If this year’s gazillions of celebrity-backed rug pulls haven’t taught us anything, idk what will.

🍋 News drops

👟 STEPN GO x Adidas announced their first-ever physical product: limited-edition Ultraboost 5 kicks. These bad boys drop via four raffles from December 13-17, with two exclusively for NFT holders.

🥊 The SEC fired back at Binance, Binance.US, and CZ with the same arguments about running an unregistered securities exchange. Ripple’s CLO called out the regulator’s wild claim that crypto has “no inherent value.”

⛔️ Pump.fun is no longer available in the UK. The ban comes three days after the FCA gave the platform a warning.

🐧 Pudgy Penguins are launching their own token, PENGU. It’ll drop on Solana with a total supply of 88,888,888,888.

🇨🇦 USDC is officially the first stablecoin to check all the boxes for Canada’s new listing rules. This means it’s safe from being delisted by the end of this year.