This ETF list is getting out of hand

Plus: Microsoft and OpenAI are sus about DeepSeek

GM. The market’s a messy fruit cocktail. Don’t worry tho’ – we’ve made it drinkable, so you don’t have to choke on the pits.

📝 Bitwise files for a Dogecoin ETF.

🍋 News drops: Microsoft and OpenAI are sus about DeepSeek, Gary Gensler is going back to MIT + more

🍍 Market flavor today

The Fear & Greed Index hasn’t moved since yesterday – still parked at 72 in Greed.

In the meantime, there’s lots of red across the board, prolly because people are going risk-off ahead of the FOMC meeting at 2 PM EST today. Btw, if you’re too busy to keep an eye on it – you know where to find us. We’ll give you the tea tomorrow.

Right now, nobody’s expecting much from the meeting. However, 10xResearch is saying there’s a chance the Fed might be less aggressive than we think.

Why? With the uncertainty around US tariffs, they might not want to push too hard on their “let’s keep interest rates high” stance from December.

And about Bitcoin’s recent dip? 10xResearch says everything’s still A-OK as long as BTC holds above $99,611 in the short term. Meanwhile, the medium-term outlook also stays positive if we remain above $91,864.

Looking even further ahead, there’s one big reason to stay bullish long-term: more and more major players are thinking about BTC investments.

The latest contender: the Czech National Bank (CNB), which might become the first European central bank to invest in Bitcoin as part of diversifying its $146B in foreign exchange reserves.

If approved, this plan could involve $7.3B worth of BTC buys.

🥝 Memecoin harvest

Watching these memecoins go up is like scrolling TikTok at 3 AM – lowkey embarrassing, but still fun.

	Name		24H Change
	PUMPKIN PKIN		▲ 44K%
	STONKS STONKS		▲ 150%
	OSOL OSOL		▲ 129%
	Ski Mask Cat SKICAT		▲ 66%

Data as of 09:30 AM EST.

Check out these memecoins and plenty more here.

Last year, Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs finally got approved in the US. And that was under an administration that wasn’t exactly like this 🤞 with crypto.

Now? Different story. The new administration is expected to be the most crypto-friendly one the US has ever seen. So, naturally, ETF issuers looked at each other, cracked their knuckles, and said, “Let’s just get f*cking wild.”

Case in point: Bitwise filed an S-1 with the SEC for a Dogecoin ETF.

Yes, it’s just the S-1 – so the SEC is only reviewing the idea in principle, but there’s no actual approval timeline yet. Until Bitwise files the 19b-4, the SEC doesn’t have to set a decision deadline.

And while there’s still a long way to go, this registration is a huge step forward.

The fun part? DOGE isn’t alone. Here’s what else is on the ETF waiting list:

… phew, sorry, got tired. Quick water break… Aight, let’s continue:

Basically, issuers seem to be poking the SEC to see how far they can go (and this list probably isn’t stopping here).

And if these ETFs do get approved, it’s a big deal:

• Easier to buy: no need for crypto wallets, private keys, or exchanges;

• More liquidity: more trading = more demand = potential price increase. Quick mafs;

• Institutional money inflow: hedge funds, pension funds, and large institutions are more likely to invest through ETFs;

• Regulatory blessing: ETFs run on regulated markets, making crypto feel less like the dark and scary underground;

• Legitimacy: if an asset gets an ETF, it’s pretty much TradFi saying, “Okay, fine, you maybe can sit with us.”

That said, just because ETFs are being filed left and right doesn’t mean they’ll all get approved.

Matt Hougan, Bitwise’s CIO, says that not every crypto even deserves an ETF. Some are too illiquid, too easy to manipulate, or just straight-up not ready.

So yeah, some will make it, some won’t – the SEC holds the final call.

🍋 News drops

🔍 Microsoft and OpenAI are trying to figure out if DeepSeek got their hands on OpenAI’s data without permission. Apparently, someone might have been pulling massive amounts of data from OpenAI’s API late last year.

😡 Senator Elizabeth Warren isn’t thrilled about Trump’s Commerce Secretary pick, Howard Lutnick. She’s calling out his ties to Tether, which she says is “a known facilitator of criminal activity.” 🙄.

💼 Scott Martin, aka “Burnt Toast,” is now the CEO of Doodles, the Ethereum-based NFT project. Looks like NFT companies are swapping corporate execs for people who are actually in the industry – Yuga Labs and Cool Cats did the same.

🤖 Gary Gensler is heading back to MIT, this time to co-lead a FinTech AI project. He won’t have SEC-level power, but with MIT’s strong ties to tech firms and policymakers, his work could still shape AI’s role in finance.

🤔 Thinking about using Coinbase? We took a deep dive into the good, the bad, and everything in between – check out our review.

🍌 Juicy memes