Bitcoin changed them… literally

Plus: The richest person you’ve never seen

GM. Crypto’s feeling like a sour lime? We’re here to zest things up with just enough sweet insights to make it delish.

🟠 MicroStrategy rebrands to Strategy.

🍋 News drops: Satoshi Nakamoto might be richer than Bill Gates, institutional investors are still not feeling crypto + more

🍍 Market flavor today

The crypto mood’s kinda mid rn – the Fear & Greed Index slid further into neutral territory, now at 49.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin is still hanging out below 100K.

CryptoQuant analyst XBTManager noticed that about 50K BTC that had been untouched for 6 – 12 months just got moved.

And this might actually cause some drama in the market:

Possibility of a sell-off: if these coins are heading to an exchange, their owners might be about to dump ’em, which can push prices down;
Panic effect: once prices drop, retail might freak out and sell, too, driving the price even lower;
After they’ve scared people into selling cheaply, whales can buy those coins at a discount. Then, if the price bounces back up, they can sell at higher prices and profit off everyone else’s panic.

TL;DR: brace for volatility.

Bitfinex analysts pointed out that BTC’s been stuck in a 15% price range since mid-November – and historically, this kind of sideways movement leads to a breakout within 80-90 days.

What makes this period interesting is that despite major macroeconomic pressures (like tariffs), Bitcoin has held above $90K. That resilience suggests that Bitcoin might have stronger underlying support than some expect.

Does that mean the breakout is gonna be upwards? Not necessarily, but analysts remain optimistic.

Michaël van de Poppe, founder of MN Capital, sees two possible paths for Bitcoin:

1️⃣ Boom & bust

BTC increases to $300K – $500K this year;
The hype forms a bubble;
Bubble pops, prices crash;
Follows the classic 4-year crypto cycle.

2️⃣ Slow & steady super cycle

Altcoins have struggled longer than usual – so the normal 4-year cycle might be extended;
Instead of peaking this year, the market stretches out for 2 more years;
The US dollar weakens, and crypto becomes the top-performing asset;
If this plays out, BTC could hit $1M.

Either way, everything still looks cheap now. The bullish take? Stop complaining and hodl tight 💪

🥝 Memecoin harvest

These tokens pulled up with main character energy – and it’s kinda working.

	Name		24H Change
	Test TST		▲ 32.4K%
	Dog Shit Going NoWhere DOGSHIT2		▲ 178%
	MEMDEX100 MEMDEX		▲ 41%
	The Next Bitcoin BUTTCOIN		▲ 8%

Data as of 09:20 AM EST.

Check out these memecoins and plenty more here.

Sooo… this one’s gonna take some getting used to 🙃

MicroStrategy – the company that made corporate Bitcoin treasuries a thing – went a size up: they’ve dropped the Micro- and became simply Strategy.

Their logo now includes the BTC symbol, and their main color is Bitcoin orange.

Basically, they’ve stopped pretending they care about enterprise software (which is what they originally did) and are officially full Bitcoin maxi mode.

As of today, Micr… f*ck, sorry – Strategy holds 471,107 BTC, bought for $30B and now worth nearly $46B – a $16B profit.

But despite taking Ws in the Bitcoin game, their Q4 earnings were a little, uh… meh:

Revenue: $120.7M, slightly missing expectations of $123.25M;
Net loss: $670.8M (or $3.03 per share), compared to a $89.1M profit last year.

😨 Oh… my gosh.

Kidding, don’t freak out.

It’s mostly paper losses – they haven’t sold their Bitcoin, so it’s not like they actually lost cash;
They’re still buying more BTC = confidence in their long-term plan;
Accounting changes will help – next quarter, a new rule will let them report BTC’s fair market value, which should make their numbers look a lot better.

🍋 News drops

🤑 Satoshi Nakamoto might’ve flipped Bill Gates on the rich list. Their stash of an estimated 1.096M BTC is worth over $108B – more than Gates’ $106B net worth.

💰 The founders of EmpiresX were fined over $130M by a US court. Turns out their so-called investment platform was more of a scam to lure people with fake promises of big returns.

🇪🇺 BlackRock might drop a Bitcoin ETP in Europe. Word is, they’re setting it up in Switzerland.

🤔 A JPMorgan survey shows that 71% of institutional investors still have no plans to trade crypto this year, down from 78% last year. On the bright side, 16% say they might give it a shot, and 13% are already in. Progress? Kinda.

💊 Pump.fun got slapped with a cease and desist. The platform apparently decided to keep tokens featuring the names and logos of two law firms suing them – plus coins mocking their employees and clients.