How I Built Resilience While Facing Divorce and Heartbreak

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

Leadership in 2025 is emotionally demanding. We’re being asked to move faster, do more with less and lead teams through ambiguity, all while juggling personal challenges behind the scenes.

And it’s taking a toll. A recent study found that 40% of stressed-out leaders have considered leaving their roles to protect their well-being. That’s not just burnout; that’s an urgent call to rethink how we show up, process adversity and lead with resilience.

I’ve felt the strain personally. This year, someone I trusted in my business lied to me. It was frustrating and disorienting, leaving me to question my judgment. Letting them go was the right move, but it stirred up drama inside my team. Some of my team members began to second-guess themselves; some were hurt, and some were angry. As the CEO, I had to navigate my own emotions and help the team regain its footing.

At the same time, I’m going through a divorce — an intensely personal experience that’s forced me to take a long, honest look at who I am and how I contributed to what didn’t work. Leading a company while navigating heartbreak isn’t something taught in business school. I strive not to let it impact my work, but some days are harder than others, and there have been a few times when I wished I could stay in bed all day rather than go into the office.

Add to that the daily challenges of running a company — supply chain complications, being under-resourced for the ambitious strategy we’re executing and carrying the responsibility of keeping my team energized — and you start to see how real this emotional load can be.

And I’m not alone. A recent Deloitte study found that 91% of public sector leaders and 77% of private sector leaders report feeling emotionally exhausted. It’s no wonder emotional resilience has become one of the most essential leadership skills of our time.

And the good news? It can be built. Here’s what’s helped me.

Related: How to Become a Resilient Entrepreneur in 4 Steps

1. Reframe the story you’re telling yourself

When something painful happens, our brains create stories to explain it — and those stories are often harsh and untrue. If you’re like me, you’ve made statements like these to yourself: “I should have seen it coming,” or “I’m a bad leader,” or “I can’t trust anyone.”

After being lied to, I found myself spinning, trying to make sense of what had happened and why. Because I constantly challenge my thinking and look for ways to take ownership of my role when relationships break down, I second-guessed my gut instincts. But I caught the story mid-loop and asked: Is this helping me? It wasn’t. So, I rewrote my story: I trust myself, and good things will come from this situation. Take decisive action and move forward. As soon as I reframed my story, it was easier to act.

Owning your story doesn’t mean making excuses for yourself or others. It means choosing a version of the truth that empowers growth instead of self-doubt.

2. Regulate before you react

Leadership requires composure. Emotional regulation is one of the most underutilized but essential leadership skills. It’s the ability to recognize what you’re feeling, stay aware of how it’s influencing you and choose a thoughtful response rather than a knee-jerk reaction.

When we hit a critical supply chain breakdown earlier this year, I wanted to react — to fix, to control, to vent. It was a very painful mistake with many lessons to learn from it. Understandably, our customers were upset and our sales team was frustrated. But I didn’t react. I followed my mantra of “stay cool, calm and collected” because I’ve learned that the pause is where the power is.

Here’s what works for me when I am in the middle of a high-stakes, high-stress situation:

Take three slow breaths to ground myself.
Name what I’m feeling. Just saying, “I’m overwhelmed and frustrated, and I will get through this,” helps me calm myself.
Step back before stepping in by asking questions, assessing the situation and determining how I will show up for my team in this situation.

You can’t lead others well if you’re led by your emotions. Remember, you set the tone and if you freak out, so will everyone else and freaking out never makes things better. Self-regulation sets the tone for healthy, resilient teams.

3. Embrace change instead of resisting it

Change is hard. But resisting it is even harder.

When it became clear that my marriage was coming to an end, I was scared — scared of all the unknowns, scared of hurting people and scared of what my life would look like without my husband. For a long time, I resisted, and when I finally accepted that it was over, we both could make decisions and move forward. It was heartbreaking. But leaning in by owning my role, facing the pain and letting go of trying to make it work helped me begin again with more clarity and intention.

Change invites us to grow. It asks us to become wiser, more grounded and more honest. The best leaders don’t succeed despite change. They succeed because of how they navigate it.

Related: Why You Need to Embrace Uncertainty as an Entrepreneurial Leader (and How to Navigate It Effectively)

4. Deal with your baggage — or it will deal with you

If you don’t process your pain, anger and frustration, they will take over, whether you realize it or not. Unresolved emotions don’t just disappear; they seep into your leadership. They cloud your judgment, shorten your fuse, erode trust and chip away at your ability to connect with others. You may think you’re compartmentalizing, but your team feels it in your tone, your decisions and your energy. Emotional residue, left unexamined, becomes a barrier to the kind of leader you want to be.

My divorce has been a mirror. I’ve had to unpack old patterns, face some hard truths, manage my emotions (and get out of bed even when I didn’t want to) and do the inner work. However, it has made me a more present and authentic leader.

Healing is a leadership act. And when you heal, you make space for clarity, compassion and connection. Don’t be afraid to examine and deal with your baggage; it’s liberating when you shed the weight from your heart and mind.

5. See setbacks as a setup for growth

Every setback holds a lesson if you’re willing to face it head-on, reflect honestly and take action. Growth doesn’t happen by avoiding discomfort; it happens when you lean into it with curiosity and courage. That’s the power of a growth mindset — or what I call the Ownership Mindset: choosing to learn, adapt and rise, regardless of the circumstances.

One of my favorite examples is fashion icon Vera Wang. She didn’t make the Olympic figure skating team. She was passed over for the editor-in-chief role at Vogue. Most people would have given up. She pivoted and built one of the most recognizable fashion empires in the world. That’s what resilience looks like: using rejection as redirection.

To build a growth mindset:

Ask: “What is this here to teach me?” Every challenge carries a lesson — if you’re open to receiving it.
Replace judgment with curiosity. Growth starts when you stop beating yourself up and start asking better questions.
Take action, even if it’s just one small step. Clarity and confidence are built through movement, not overthinking.
Honor progress, no matter how small. Small wins are proof you’re moving forward — and momentum is built one step at a time.

Related: 4 Core Strategies That Helped Me Turn Setbacks Into Success

Final thought: Let go and lead forward

Letting go of hurt doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t matter. It means choosing not to let it define you. Resilience isn’t about being unbreakable. It’s about rebuilding yourself stronger than before.

Ask yourself these questions now: